Having been a resident of Pennsylvania for some time, I have had the pleasure of noticing people's strange behavior before a snowstorm hits. As soon as the local news networks make it clear that there could be a significant amount of snowfall, people rush to their nearest grocery store and begin stocking up on things that they would not normally buy, like bread, milk, water, and even vegetables. This is an amazing occurance, considering that the typical American diet (South Beach participation notwithstanding) consists of Oreo cookies, Hamburger Helper, Doritos, and Hot Pockets. I'm simply amazed at the complete turnaround people make when they are faced with the possibility of being "snowed in" for a day or two (at the most). Maybe if we had an abundance of snowstorms--nay, merely the SUGGESTION of an abundance of snowstorms, we would see a decrease in adult obesity. I therefore propose a nation-wide government-funded "snowstorm alert" behavioral control program. Every evening, all major networks will broadcast a message warning people of an impending blizzard. These same people will then drop their Chef Boyardee raviolis and immediately make their way to the grocery store where they will inexplicably buy skim milk, whole wheat bread, and frozen mixed vegetables. Obesity crisis averted! Pounds will be shed. Confidence will soar. We will have beaten the dietary terrorists (the dieterrorists, if you will) at their own game! Victory for all Americans!
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An ounce of prevention is worth 0.0624999889 pounds of cure.
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